Category Archives: Funny
A Future Father Speaks
So, I finished the my latest HOW TO BE A DAD book recently. It was entitled “The Expectant Father” This book didn’t freak me out with hundreds of advanced female anatomy diagrams, pregnancy warning signs, stats on SIDS, or how to care for an infected episiotomy incision (that was actually covered in another book).
…and now the latest from Seaside Heights, New Jersey.
SEASIDE HEIGHTS — The mayor was arrested, along with his adult children, outside a nightclub in neighboring Seaside Heights, authorities said.
Mayor Thomas E. Connors was arrested around 7:15 p.m. Saturday, along with Anthony Connors, 23, and Lindsay Connors, 22, outside of Hemingway’s Cafe, according to Seaside Heights police.
Authorities said Anthony Connors was being taken from the bar by staff members when he tried to hit his escorts. Officers stopped the younger Connors and placed him under arrest, police said.
They also said Lindsay Connors began to interfere during her brother’s arrest, striking a police officer on the arm and chest area. She then was arrested, police said.
As the bar’s staff escorted their father outdoors, the mayor, who had a minor injury on his face, saw his children being taken into custody. Police said he then began to intervene on their behalf and also was arrested.
Connors was charged with disorderly conduct and interfering with an arrest. Anthony Connors was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Lindsay Connors was charged with resisting arrest, interfering with an arrest and simple assault.
Details on why the family was being escorted from the restaurant were not available.
**THE SCENE OF THE CRIMES**
By The Star-Ledger Continuous News Desk
March 21, 2010, 10:07PM
Do they look alike or what?
Before you attack me for “unamericanism” or some other bullshit made up word – Know this, I simply glanced at the pic of Ahmadinejad on Yahoo.com this morning and for a sec thought it was a pic of Bush. So, I simply I ask you…Do they look alike or what?
YOU DECIDE:
What I noticed:
Ear Shape: CHECK!
NOSE SHAPE: CHECK!
JAW SHAPE: CHECK!
WHITE BUTTON DOWN: CHECK!
BEADY EYES: CHECK!
*I KNOW and BELIEVE that Bush and Ahmadinejad have nothing in common when it comes to politics, religion, and the good ole USA. So, easy tiger. Just vote in the comments, or be a moron and call me unamerican or anti-american and prove to the world you are an idiot.
Great post from http://wonkette.com
Fox News Needs To Mind Its Own Business
Hmm… how many hours are in the day, again? Whatever that number is plus two more hours, daily. We know that puberty is hard for you, Fox News, so feel free to pass on any more questions. YOU’RE NORMAL. IT’S A NATURAL PROCESS. [Buzzfeed via Fox News-loving operative “Ryan M.”]
Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/414008/fox-news-needs-to-mind-its-own-business#ixzz0hBG2eTOq
Venting: A Geographical Focus
I am not going to complain about the people here. I am not going to complain about the culture here. I am not going to complain about anything that I could potentially do anything about. I AM going to complain about how I am bombarded by things that I would hope most of this country is not subjected to. Here are some of the scenarios that aggravate me the most.
Fast Food Conniption Fit
According to http://www.wisegeek.com a conniption fit is described as:
Assume for a minute you decided to tell your parents about your plans to ditch college and join the circus. The next event you witness should qualify as a conniption fit. A conniption fit is a sudden, violent emotional outburst generally triggered by shocking news or an unexpected turn of events. Unlike a tantrum, which could be triggered with little outside provocation, a conniption fit is often an anticipated response to incredibly bad or disappointing news. A conniption fit is generally characterized by a tirade of strong language accompanied by signs of frustration, rage and/or sadness. Sometimes a person having a conniption fit is reduced to stutters and incomprehensible epithets.
Looking forward….
The future is a vast and ever changing cloud of possibility. Now that the kid is in the mix…that cloud is much bigger with 10000 more possibilities. UGHHH…lets assume that my new kid-to-be is free of all diseases, forms of chromozone abnormalities, and all the billions of things that could go wrong with a pregnancy and appears … normal. YAHOO!
What if he is a bad kid…the ones that cry just to cry on airplanes, the ones that give teachers ulcers, the kind that make you not want kids in the 1st place. OMG that would be a nightmare!!! Read the rest of this entry
sometimes right - sometimes not - always correct 