Pregnancy Hormones: A male perspective

There is a stigma attached to a woman during pregnancy.

Exhibit A

The mystique is similar to a lioness protecting her cubs mixed with an emotionally unbalanced  circus clown (the crying one).  This alone scares men.  Some buy shirts for the mothers-to-be:

These shirts and the like aren’t so much a WARNING to others as they are more of a reminder to themselves that “She is volatile.”  Post-It notes were invented by a man.  There is no shock there. We need to be reminded.

If a man wants to read more about this “hormonal issue” there are myriad books, articles, magazines, and videos for him to utilize.  Here is an excerpt that some men may use:

“I knew my hormones took over when I threw a fit because my boyfriend wanted to go out for a friend’s birthday (that had been planned for a week) instead of a last minute dinner party with my girlfriends. I accused him of putting his friends before mine, cried, slammed doors, then cornered him while he was showering to ask if he really loved me.”

Anyone seen Fatal Attraction or Single White Female?  I digress.

Dear reader…unpredictability and breaks from personalityare the most horrifying things a man can endure.  Why?   Because men like consistency and somewhat of a routine that can be altered for the playoffs. 


It is easier for us to deal with.  When our partner in life flies into another personality and value system even for a brief period…we panic.

Insert "I'm Sorry!" here.

I will admit it.  We don’t know what to do and usually drop into defense mode and say, “I’m sorry.”  This is not a true sentiment because, honestly, we have no damned clue what is wrong in the first place-only that SOMETHING is afoot at the Circle K.

So what do we do?  Is there a middle ground?  Can a pregnant woman tolerate their man for approximately 9 months under these circumstances?  History says YES.  Although, I think its a day to day process that swings from UNDERSTANDING to DUCK AND COVER.  A man must learn…YEAH, I said it…LEARN to be more understanding and not immediately jump to “She is fucking crazy,” even if she is crazy right then…its only temporary.  I think the learning curve will be an easier issue if we men actually REMEMBER that the woman we are about to tease (In that cute way you have since you knew her.) could breakdown or hit you with a skillet and there would be no warning of either reaction heading your way.


Last night, My wife said to me,

“I am sorry I am so whiny.”

Honestly, I haven’t noticed her being whiny at all up to this point in our pregnancy.  Does that mean that the hormones she has coursing through her body alter her reality…YES IT DOES.  Does it mean I have overlooked her being whiny?  No, I’m not that evolved.  The hormones made her feel sorry for something she hasn’t done.  So, the pendulum swings both ways!

So, where is the lesson or the light bulb moment in this post?

There isn’t one.  There is something that is important and worthwhile.  That is the fact that child growing in my wife’s tummy has already started manipulating us and we are powerless to stop it…nor do I want to.

I will leave you with a quote from an expecting mother concerning her hormonal bouts that sums it all up:

“I knew [my] hormones had kicked in when I was just mad at the world for no reason. My husband told me he loved me anyway, which started the waterworks. I SOBBED uncontrollably until I saw his concerned and slightly confused face, which made me burst into uncontrollable laughter. Lol.”

See…that just sounds crazy dosen’t it?

About Matt

I was.

Posted on February 16, 2010, in Family, parenthood and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. BB are you trying to say the two of you are preggers?

  2. While this is ever-so-interesting, let me remind you that this is where I come for my outing of the tactics of the Regressive Party; you want to talk about hormones??? Just deny me that.

  3. haha
    Thanks for the laughs.
    You have a great style of writing!

    I am blogging our pregnancy if your interested please follow me.

  4. that was good. you made me feel better. then she made me feel even worse again

  5. NamasteklsNamastekls

    I am pregnant and I sent this article to my hubby b/c it made me laugh. I do not think this is a sexist article at all. I think it’s a good way to look at the situation with some humor–and good advice (duck and cover is right!). I feel terrible when I say outlandish things to my hubby. We all get scared, but sometimes pregnant women (like me) are unable to voice that fear (and frustration, in some cases) in a healthy, logical way (the way a man would want or expect). I would proudly wear the warning shirt. Thanks for making me laugh after I spent the morning crying b/c I was really mean to my hubby.

  6. Thanks for making me laugh after I spent the morning upset over giving my hubby a hard time (over pretty much nothing). I think this is a healthy way to approach such situations–love the “duck and cover” advice! I sent my hubby this article and I would proudly wear that T-shirt. OMG, I can’t wait to just have our kid so we all know it is worth it!

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