Category Archives: list
Is this thing on?
Hello, It has been 2 years, 2 months, and 4 days since my last confession. I wonder if some of you are still there. In my mind your RSS alert systems just came to life after years of inactivity- not unlike those tape reels in the bottom of a bunker somewhere in an ’80s movie. Silence…a red light begins to blink…a whirring sound…the tape reels spin…a Kenny Loggins song starts…
I think you get it.
So, where have I been for approximately 794 days? Nation building! As some of you know/knew I had a child. What you don’t know is that Sab and I had another child shortly after Macy was born. Her name is Rebecca. She arrived 13 months after Macy.
I have been busy trying to create the next American Women’s Tennis Champion or Greatest Tea Party Hostess (they are interchangeable at this point) and making Rebecca giggle. Its a full time job. The best job. So that’s where I have been. Moving on…
Whats changed over the last 19,056 hours since we last spoke? A few things actually…I will supply a short list. You are welcome.
- Rebecca Was Born
- SOPA Protest – Largest in History of the Internet
- A silent film won 5 Academy awards (Really?)
- “Gangnam Style” becomes the first video to reach one billion views on YouTube
- Lance Armstrong “apologizes,” loses a ba-jillion dollars, and still comes off like a douche bag
- Anonymous hacked Westboro Baptist Church (Yea!)
- Macy decided that she is a “princess”
- Rebecca likes yogurt
I am sure there were more events than those…however, I can not remember them right now.
This I will construct a more lucid post about something asap. In the mean time, I am taking requests for topics. In the comments, suggest a topic…or demand a topic. I will write about it in my usual, hard to follow, grammatically incorrect manner.
Welcome back, me!
A List of 20 Things I Have Learned
1) No matter how much you plan, someone named Murphy will screw it up
2) If your haircut, doctor’s appointment, or dentist appointment is at 2:00 p.m. feel free to arrive at 4:00 p.m. – You will not be seen on time.
3) I like Space Invaders, however I do not like personal space invaders (See Awesome Illustration)
4) All people want 3 things: Respect, Understanding, and whatever you have in your left back pocket
5) A good pen is worth its weight in gold and will be stolen,lost, or destroyed within 5 minutes of you discovering its true worth
6) People are thinking about you right now- the IRS, Donald Trump, and Dionne Warwick to name a few
7) You do not have enough money.
8 ) Neither do I
9) I love food and food loves me – that is why it hangs around so long.
10) I do not like “customized stickers” on crappy cars…maybe buy a hubcap instead of a sticker that reads “Juicy” for your back windshield
11) If you make fun of a poor, homeless, or disadvantaged person around me expect to be humiliated- I have no patience for that
12) My wife saved my life and she doesn’t know it
13) I have great parents
14) My daughter is perfect
15) I am too fat
16) I need to be more active, eat less, and pay more attention to “adult things” in order to prolong my life- or so I am told
17) I wish there was a rule that you must have a working driver side window to use a fast food drive through
18) I should not ever go through a fast food drive through
19) There are things in my house that have not moved since we moved in
20) I have owned every model of iPhone through no fault of my own*
* they all still work, how sad is that?
Some People You Need To Know
In the spirit of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People:
Today, I am going to share. These are the 10 people that I learn from, are entertained by, and make me think. I hope you click on some of these names and get something useful out of this internet fad before it plays out. This list is in no order what so ever-except the order in which I thought of them.
Matt’s 10 Most Influential People (OF THE WORLD)
Ben Hoffman– As Infomania’s curmudgeon, who metaphorically steps up on a soap box, Ben starts every diatribe with “Hey, I got something to say.” He then outlines some aspect of our society that we over look – but shouldn’t. Thursday nights on Current TV or look him up on You Tube.
Elizabeth Warren– In the wake of the 2008-9 financial crisis, she became the chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel created to investigate the U.S. banking bailout (formally known as the Troubled Assets Relief Program). In that role, she has provided a critical check on the U.S. Department of the Treasury and has been a leading advocate for accountability and transparency. Since 2007, she has advocated for the creation of a new Consumer Financial Protection Agency, which President Barack Obama has supported and Congress is now considering.
Chuck Klosterman– Chuck Klosterman is the author of four books on topics ranging from pop culture to sports to death. He’s ironic, funny, and quite insightful, although firmly cemented in his opinions, so if you aren’t open to other’s ideas then don’t read this, because you’ll probably just get angry. He openly talks about doing drugs on various occasions, as well as tying in his life experiences (they’re pretty interesting) with music and pop culture and what that means in the larger scheme of things. He also writes for The New York Times Magazine, The Believer, The Washington Post, Esquire, and SPIN.
Pres. Barack Obama– Well, he is the President of MY United States AND he said this “I am asking you to believe. Not Just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington…I am asking you to believe in yours.” I really think he means it.
Jay-Z– I could not care less if you like or dislike his music. Jay-Z’s success is best American success story that I can think of. Click the link and read about what determination, talent, and ambition can yield someone. If you are only going to read ONE biography- read his.
Phil Keoghan– Host of Amazing Race, this guy has done some amazing things and completely believes your life should not be wasted. According to his book, No Opportunity Wasted, Keoghan set out to live his life to the fullest by accomplishing exotic goals and taking risks after a near-death experience at the age of 19. Since then, he’s broken a world bungee jumping record, gone diving in the world’s longest underwater caves, eaten a meal on top of an erupting volcano, and renewed his vows underwater. He was a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show, where he shared with Oprah his list of things he wants to do before he dies. The focus of many of his shows is helping others live their lives to the fullest.
Nico Pitney– Nico Pitney is National Editor at the Huffington Post. He was previously Deputy Research Director at the Center for American Progress and Managing Editor of ThinkProgress. He lives in Washington, DC, and has appeared on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and NPR.
Paul Krugman– Where to start, hmmmm…Let’s see, he is Professor of Economics and International Affairs at the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University, Centenary Professor at the London School of Economics, and an op-ed columnist for The New York Times. In 2008, Krugman won the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics for his contributions to New Trade Theory and New Economic Geography. He was voted sixth in a 2005 global poll of the world’s top 100 intellectuals by Prospect. The Nobel Prize Committee stated that Krugman’s main contribution had been to explain patterns of international trade and the geographic concentration of wealth by examining the impact of economies of scale and of consumer preferences for diverse goods and services. Krugman’s work on international economics, including trade theory, economic geography, and international finance has established him as one of the most influential economists in the world according to IDEAS/RePEc. Krugman is also known in academia for his work on liquidity traps and on currency crises. As of 2006, Krugman had written or edited more than 25 books, 40 scholarly articles and 750 columns at The New York Times dealing with current economic and political issues. Krugman’s International Economics: Theory and Policy, co-authored with Maurice Obstfeld, is a standard college textbook on international economics. He also writes on political and economic topics for the general public, as well as on topics ranging from income distribution to international economics. Krugman considers himself a liberal, calling one of his books and his New York Times blog “The Conscience of a Liberal”. My hands down pick for celebrity Jeopardy Champion….WATCH OUT KEN JENNINGS!
Jim Parsons– Best known for playing Sheldon Cooper on the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory, with his performance often cited as a significant reason for the program’s success. On July 16, 2009, he was nominated for an Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for his work on The Big Bang Theory. In August 2009, he won the Television Critics Association award for the highest individual achievements in comedy. In April 2010, he received the National Association of Broadcasters Television Chairman’s Award for a significant break-through in one or more specific art discipline. HANDS DOWN THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON TELEVISION.
Sabrina Howell esq.- My wife, confidant, and bestest pal. This lady makes me laugh, calms me down, and keeps my head on straight. She is the kindest, least judgmental, and funniest person I know – not to mention the fact she is my baby’s momma!
I hope this list gives you some insight into what I think is important and “influential” in the world. I don’t think any of these people made Time Magazine’s list-but all of them should have. Read, learn, and get smarter.
Recipe for a good day
1. Shopping objectives accomplished in 1.5 hours
2. Laughing about someones haircut with wife
3. Meeting up with a good friend for coffee and insanity in a craft store (see photo)
4. Finding a 1/2 price Le Creuset Dutch oven and buying it immediately
5. A couple rolls at Sekisui South for dinner
Everyday should be this good
Who’s ya boy in Slovenia???
Breakdown of Obtuse View readers by country!
United States (US) 423
United Kingdom (GB) 21
Canada (CA) 12
India (IN) 6
Germany (DE) 4
Australia (AU) 3
Sweden (SE) 2
New Zealand (NZ) 2
Italy (IT) 2
Norway (NO) 2
Mexico (MX) 2
Austria (AT) 1
Netherlands (NL) 1
Latvia (LV) 1
France (FR) 1
Belgium (BE) 1
Georgia (GE) 1
Vietnam (VN) 1
Sri Lanka (LK) 1
South Africa (ZA) 1
Nepal (NP) 1
Lebanon (LB) 1
Spain (ES) 1
China (CN) 1
Afghanistan (AF) 1
Slovenia (SI) 1
THANK YOU TO ALL THE READERS OF OBTUSE VIEW!!!
Just some tips on retaining your MAN card
Here is a list that all men need to read…
You are losing man points if you:
Smoke a Misty Cigarette
Own anything with a sequin
Drink out of a straw
Lip sync/karoke anything by Milli Vanilli or ABBA
Know what “Spanx” are
Wear “skinny jeans”
Have a preference in the nylon content of socks
Think and/or believing that chocolate is even close to sex
Know who Zach Effron is
Take a picture of a celebrity to your hairstylist
Have a hairstylist
Use a blender on any speed other than the highest speed
Order anything that is or rhymes with “frappichino”
Drink a cocktail that is blue, red (Campari excluded), green, or pink
Debate the “Hasselbeck Issue” on The View
Wear athletic shoes that are ONE COLOR
Thanks to my wife for help with this list.