A List of 20 Things I Have Learned


1) No matter how much you plan, someone named Murphy will screw it up

2) If your haircut, doctor’s appointment, or dentist appointment is at 2:00 p.m. feel free to arrive at 4:00 p.m. – You will not be seen on time.

3) I like Space Invaders, however I do not like personal space invaders (See Awesome Illustration)

4) All people want 3 things:  Respect, Understanding, and whatever you have in your left back pocket

5) A good pen is worth its weight in gold and will be stolen,lost, or destroyed within 5 minutes of you discovering its true worth

6) People are thinking about you right now- the IRS, Donald Trump, and Dionne Warwick to name a few

7) You do not have enough money.

8 ) Neither do I

9) I love food and food loves me – that is why it hangs around so long.

10) I do not like “customized stickers” on crappy cars…maybe buy a hubcap instead of a sticker that reads “Juicy” for your back windshield

11) If you make fun of a poor, homeless, or disadvantaged person around me expect to be humiliated- I have no patience for that

12) My wife saved my life and she doesn’t know it

13) I have great parents

14) My daughter is perfect

See?

 

 

 

 

 

 

15) I am too fat

16) I need to be more active, eat less, and pay more attention to “adult things” in order to prolong my life- or so I am told

17) I wish there was a rule that you must have a working driver side window to use a fast food drive through

18) I should not ever go through a fast food drive through

19) There are things in my house that have not moved since we moved in

20) I have owned every model of iPhone through no fault of my own*

* they all still work, how sad is that?
Advertisements

About matt1912

I am.

Posted on March 19, 2011, in Family, food, Funny, list, My World, parenthood and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. We all adore you and are terrified for you; lose the weight, please.

  2. 1) your daughter is adorable (:
    2) i NEVER have enough money (mostly cause i usually don’t have any)
    3) life isn’t worth anything if you don’t enjoy it. so i personally think a little time having fun is worth so much more than a long life being miserable (depending on the circumstances)

    -desirae (:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: