The Funniest Thing You Have Never Read

After all TV shows’ credits there are logos and things called vanity cards that are made by production companies that we rarely pay any attention to…if we see them at all.  There is one you need to see…trust me on this…YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THIS.

Chuck Lorre Productions have vanity cards that follow a number of shows that you may have seen.

The Big Bang Theory
Two and a Half Men
Dharma & Greg
Grace Under Fire

I first noticed the Chuck Lorre vanity card by accident when I paused a recorded episode of Big Bang Theory (to which I am hopelessly addicted).  It was witty, funny, and smart.  Next week I looked again…it was completely different YET witty, funny, and smart.  I dug deeper.  With great pleasure, I give you this:

It is a library of all the beautiful nuggets you have never seen.  Today’s ditty came on after Big Bang Theory, not ten minutes ago:



Dear Chuck,
At a recent dinner party, I found myself in an awkward situation when the host, a devout atheist, sneezed between spoonfuls of his gazpacho. Without thinking, I said, “God bless you.” He gave me a withering look and said, as if to a child, “Golly gee, I sure hope he does.” The other guests exploded with laughter, while I imploded with humiliation. To avoid future embarrassment, what is the correct response when an atheist sneezes?
Troubled with ahchoo

Dear Troubled,
First, a little background information. Saying “God bless you” following a sneeze is thought by some to have originated in the sixth century in order to protect the sneezer from falling ill to the bubonic plague. Another possible origin is that people once believed that the devil entered the body during a sneeze and saying “God bless you” could help ward him off. Since the plague has killed something like two hundred million people and the words “God bless you” have, in all likelihood, been said countless times to Glenn Beck, we can safely assume the phrase has no real power against germs or demonic possession. What it does contain is simple human courtesy — a means by which we express concern for one another. As to how to respond to a sneezing atheist, well, that’s easy. Simply say, “Sounds like you’re coming down with something, I hope you don’t die and rot in a box.”

Again, You are welcome.

About Matt

I was.

Posted on February 1, 2010, in culture, Funny, tv, USA and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. you can get lost in these vanity cards.

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