My Food Network Wish

If I were granted some wishes from a genie in a bottle one would be to have dinner with 6 Food Network chefs.  Not because of their cooking style or food of choice, but because they look and appear on TV to be cool.  So, here are my top 6 Food Network chefs that I want to have dinner with. (In no particular order.)

Alton Brown:  Host of Good Eats and all around smart cookie.  I think this man is hilarious and wicked smart.  I would expect him to say things like, “You know pomegranates were once used for arthritus medicine because of their molypeptidal antioxidant qualities.”  (or something like that) He is cool plain and simple.

Michael Symon:  Iron Chef America icon.  He wasn’t chosen, he earned his way to Iron Chefdom!  I named my dog Symon after this man.  Humorous and always polite, I think he and I could talk about “guy” stuff  like why Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth and just hot Nigella Lawson really is.

Guy Fieri: Host of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives,  He and I would just eat things while not caring that we had food on our faces.  He bleaches his hair…I will let that pass because he KNOWS where some good grub lives and isn’t afraid to eat it.  After eating we would cruise in the ’65 and pimp our way on down the road listening to AC/DC or Jimmy Buffet.

Ted Allen:  the host of CHOPPED is hands down one of the funniest and arguably  the smartest man on FN.(NOTE: It’s between Ted and Alton for the Food Geek Crown.) As the host of Chopped he tells punks that don’t include one of the ingredients “Sorry, you don’t get ten thousand dollars and you aren’t the Chopped champion.” He and I would talk about how good a gin and tonic is in the summertime and why Guy Fieri needs to wear long pants in the kitchen.

The Neelys:  Hosts of Down Home with the Neelys

I love these people.  Being from Memphis, they are in the same geographic mindset I am in.  We could talk about Channel 5 news, why the pyramid was a bad idea, and “the spice fairy.”  If you have never seen their show, it is the most sexually charged chemistry between a married couple in a kitchen EVER.  She will say things like “Rub that meat big daddy!” and it not be too sexual for TV…but you know what she means.   He says things to her like “You know I am gonna whip this merangue up, Momma!”  It is kinky bedroom talk in the kitchen. AWESOME!

NOTE:  If you watch FN, you may notice that they put star anise in everything now days.  Don’t do it.  Trust me.

I was corrected by the wife after posting on 2 points:

1) Star anise is “UMAMI” enhancing (I still feel it doesn’t go in EVERYTHING)

2) Nigella Lawson is not a “beauty for the ages” but she is “incredibly sexy.”   My wife is so right, esp. about Nigella. <growl>

About Matt

I was.

Posted on January 10, 2010, in culture, food, tv, USA and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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