"...a football? Yeah, yeah a football! No! WAIT!!!..."

I hate being asked what I want for Christmas.  I simply hate it.  It hurts my delicate feelers to tell someone that I don’t want anything…they look dejected and I feel like an ass.  SO…here is an open response to everyone that has/will ask me what I want for Christmas.  Any of these would be greatly appreciated.

A moral compass, muttonchops, Spideysense,  a frigate (*note I have no where to keep this option), a jetpack, an olympic medal (*the sport is irrelevant, just make sure there is no name on it), an original muppet (*Fozzy preferably), the ability to dance (*pop n’ lock preferred), a live in masseuse, any original Elvis jumpsuit, guitar lessons from Tom Morello, 3′ x 8′ oil on canvas painting of me on a white steed dressed in armor with a lance piercing a dragon under the horses hooves (*see St. George Slaying the Dragon)…

That is a fraction of my actual list…

If you want more gift ideas, let me know in the comments and I will give you more ideas to make my Christmas a merry one.