Author Archives: Matt
Christmas Wish List 2009
"...a football? Yeah, yeah a football! No! WAIT!!!..."
I hate being asked what I want for Christmas. I simply hate it. It hurts my delicate feelers to tell someone that I don’t want anything…they look dejected and I feel like an ass. SO…here is an open response to everyone that has/will ask me what I want for Christmas. Any of these would be greatly appreciated.
A moral compass, muttonchops, Spideysense, a frigate (*note I have no where to keep this option), a jetpack, an olympic medal (*the sport is irrelevant, just make sure there is no name on it), an original muppet (*Fozzy preferably), the ability to dance (*pop n’ lock preferred), a live in masseuse, any original Elvis jumpsuit, guitar lessons from Tom Morello, 3′ x 8′ oil on canvas painting of me on a white steed dressed in armor with a lance piercing a dragon under the horses hooves (*see St. George Slaying the Dragon)…
That is a fraction of my actual list…
If you want more gift ideas, let me know in the comments and I will give you more ideas to make my Christmas a merry one.
“You go! I’ll cover ya!”
A lone rider emerges on the horizon. His horse gallops under him leaving dust in the air as they move. The sun blurs their outline as a distant guitar plays a minor chord. The cacti seem to move from his path. The air is still and the sun bears down on everything; somehow he is comfortable under his wool poncho and leather hat. The alpha. An icon. A stereotype. An archetype that is as familiar as the scent of vanilla on a stripper. Yet, something is missing from this picture. Something is needed to complete this scene. Something essential…something primal…something dumb…the wingman, the sidekick, the foil, the carnival mirror of the hero concept. The “everyman” that heroes can’t survive without. The overweight, dirty seemingly slow minded dolt riding the burro in the hero’s dust cloud saying “Hey, wait up,” as they ride into the sunset.
Oh, wingmen…this one is for you.
A wingman is defined by freedictionary.com as a “A pilot whose plane is positioned behind and outside the leader in a formation of flying aircraft.” This is not the definition I was looking for. Urbandictionary.com comes closer with, “A Wingman is a guy you bring along with you on singles outings (like to bars) that helps you out with the women.”
The “only for sex” limitation is too, well limiting. A wingman give status and validity to his “Red Leader” that may or may not lead to sex, but does always lead to a more favorable and definite picture of the “alpha.”
Let me explain, I was at a charity event this weekend and something became perfectly clear. Social stigma, social hierarchy, financial clout, suit fabric, purse designer, shoe heel height, and watch brand are merely tertiary aspects of a much simpler concept; simply put clothes DO NOT make the man, his interaction with the other men around him makes the man. The “alphas” (I use that for lack of a better term) seem to have a constant rotation of subordinates revolving around them at all times. You can watch this for yourself at the next party or social event you attend. It is easy…all you do is watch for non-motion. I am not talking about the shy, unengaged wall flowers. Watch the man or woman to whom some of the others in attendance gravitate to. They won’t move until forced to. The others will circle into and out of contact all night long. I was honestly shocked that it was this obvious and I had never seen it before. The alphas never moved and when they did the others relocated as well to remain in close proximity to the alpha. Amazing.
The next day I was thinking about all of this and the concept of “wingman” came into my mind and then it clicked. The wingman dosen’t NEED the alpha. Another alpha is readily found. We all know it is easy to find someone to follow and idolize. Ironically, the alpha NEEDS the wingman. The alpha is defined as the leader of the pack, the strongest lion, the silverback gorilla, the meanest marmoset….however, not having a pack equals no pack to lead. STATUS REMOVED.
"...you've lost that lovin' feeling..."
Working thesis: Wingmen dictate social and cultural significance.
Chew on that for a minute before you dismiss it. Paparazzi, fans, wingmen, wingwomen, and “handlers” all give fame and status to the ones they fawn over. The perception that is fostered is one of alpha status…at least to the detached observer. The “That dude must be somebody,” thought or statement is often caused just because there seems to be people clamoring around this person. The number of people has nothing to do with the alpha status however…Holmes only had Watson and that dude from Scotland Yard, Batman had Robin, Darrel Hall had John Oats, Mav had Goose (eventually Iceman cause Goose died *SPOILER*). It seems that one well placed wingman seems to be all one needs to get the assumption of the alpha started.
Here are some examples of movie wingmen that make you believe the people they are supporting matter. TOP 10 MOVIE WINGMEN
Here is another list of wingmen from a variety of areas: 10 MORE
Here is a video on how one can be a better wingman: WATCH
Here is a website that has the “LAWS” for wingmen.
I hope that all of you who read this thank your wingmen daily for the PROPS they are sending you and to those of you, who are wingmen, choose your alphas carefully. They only have anything because you give it to them.
**NOTE** “Wingman, wingmen, alpha, and other terms used are NOT gender specific. Men or women can be any and all of the above terms. No sexism is allowed, people.
Rummy the Influenza Profiteer
Do you know someone who has the flu? Have you ever had the flu? If you answered “yes” to any of those questions-Did you or the person you know take Tamiflu? If so, Donald Rumsfield thanks you. Not for preventing the spread of the flu, but for making him rich while stopping the spread of influenza.
Here are the facts. On November 1, 2005, then President George W. Bush went to the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland to hold a high profile press conference, to announce a 381-page plan, officially called the Pandemic Influenza Strategic Plan. The President surrounded himself with half his cabinet, including Secretary of State Condi Rice, Secretaries of Homeland Security, Agriculture, Health & Human Services, Transportation and, Veterans Affairs. The White House also invited the Director-General of the World Health Organization, who flew in from Geneva for the occasion. Needless to say this was a big deal. The President’s opening remarks set the tone:
“At this moment, there is no pandemic influenza in the United States or the world. But if history is our guide, there is reason to be concerned. In the last century, our country and the world have been hit by three influenza pandemics — and viruses from birds contributed to all of them. The first, which struck in 1918, killed over half-a-million Americans and more than 20 million people across the globe…Scientists and doctors cannot tell us where or when the next pandemic will strike, or how severe it will be, but most agree: at some point, we are likely to face another pandemic. And the scientific community is increasingly concerned by a new influenza virus known as H5N1 — or avian flu…”
Here is where it gets interesting. Despite the stated absence of a clear and present danger to the American public, the President called on Congress to immediately pass a new $7.1 billion in emergency funding to prepare for possible future danger. The speech was a testament to the Bush Doctrine that President Bush is so well known for. BUT WAIT… The President’s list of emergency measures was a call for Congress to appropriate another $1 billion explicitly for Tamiflu. THATS ONE BILLION.
Tamiflu, made by Gilead Sciences, seems to work, so its no shock that it would be needed to be mass produced…wait, mass produced for an issue that isn’t even an issue. Seems odd. Well..its not only odd but it may have been unethical or illegal.
GUESS WHAT? The Secretary of Defense under President Bush, Donald H. Rumsfeld, was on the board of Gilead Sciences since 1988 and Chairman of the Board of Gilead Sciences from 1997 until early 2001 when he became Defense Secretary. On October 26, 2005, Sec. Rumsfield released a statement that he had “reclused” himself on any Pentagon discussions involving Gilead Sciences. Seems like a good move to remove himself from any “conflict of interest” issues, RIGHT? HOLD ON!!! Before he removed himself from “any further discussions”, Rummy purchased $18 million dollars in additional stock in Gilead Sciences, making him one of its largest if not the largest stock owners. That reclusion came after he had already scored his windfall on the Gilead Science stock price jump. How big was the price jump, you ask?
FACT: In 2001, when Rumsfield became Sec. of Defense and left Gilead Sciences’ board, the stock price went from $7.00 a share to $50.00 a share in 2005. That is a 720% profit from his initial investment 4 years earlier.
On November 15, 2005, Fortune Magazine reported:
“The Defense Secretary decided not to sell his many shares in Gilead so as to ‘avoid being accused of insider trading.’ If true, that means Mr. Rumsfeld, apparently not one to shy away from turning a fast buck, has bagged an eye-popping windfall, as demand for Tamiflu worldwide explodes. Today it is the hottest drug in the world market. On October 6, the Pentagon announced it had stockpiled quantities of Tamiflu for members of the military.”
Is is considered insider trading when you can manufacture the threat of a “future” pandemic that causes hysteria and the only way to squelch that hysteria is by selling the people a drug you make?
I didn’t think you could yell “FIRE” in a theater when there isn’t a fire at all….I guess I was wrong. Again, I find myself angry and depressed at the obvious manipulation of the American people by our administration for their own personal profit.
On a side note, Gilead Sciences closed at 46.985 yesterday. Still going strong.
Congrats to you Mr. Rumsfield. Be sure to bundle up, it is flu season after all.
Sometimes learning is depressing
Monsanto is a name that those of us in the south grow up hearing. It is synonymous with farming, cotton, seeds, soy beans, and farmers that you know and see everyday. It has a non-intrusive, non-threatening, “we love farmers” vibe around here. With Round-Up selling as fast as they can produce it and their Round-Up Ready Soy Beans and Cotton genetically modified seeds, needless to say they are more than a minor influence in the southern United States. So, when I saw the documentary “The World According to Monsanto” listed on my DirecTV guide, I immediately flagged it to record. What I learned shocked me and really made me think about what Monsanto and its genetically modified seeds are doing for food production and the “intellectual rights” associated to a seed produced by a plant.
We learn in grade school that plants grow from a seed of some sort. When that plant continues to grow it produces seeds of its own. The plant does this so the plant can propagate its species. You may assume that if you grow something from a seed you can replant the seeds that original plant produces and grow more plants. That may be true…sometimes. It is never true for a Monsanto seed. Farmers must sign contracts that state they may not keep any seeds produced by the plants that they grow from Monsanto seeds. Monsanto uses this policy to protect their “intellectual property.”
We also learn about cross pollination in grade school. If a farm growing seeds bought from Monsanto cross pollinates with another crop near there grown from non-Monsanto grown seeds. The result is both fields produce genetically modified crops that fall under Monsanto’s GM seed property rights and the non-Monsanto crop owner will be sued. Mr. Schmeiser won is his ordeal, but hundreds others haven’t.
BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE.
MONSANTO OWNS PATENTS FOR “TERMINATOR SEEDS” These seeds will yield pants with sterile seeds so farmers will have to buy MORE seeds next year and the next year and the next year. This coupled with their stance on “seed savers” MONSANTO POLICY The only reasonable motivation is domination and control of the global food market.
WAIT, with all this talk about global food production and market domination, I have missed one important question… Is genetically modified food safe to eat? Well, Reports vary. However the American Academy of Environmental Science has issued a moratorium on GM foods. According to their study GM foods caused damage to the organs to animals who ate it. Here is their position paper concerning their findings and an excerpt from that paper.
“However, several animal studies indicate serious health risks associated with GM food consumption including infertility, immune dysregulation, accelerated aging, dysregulation of genes associated with cholesterol synthesis, insulin regulation, cell signaling, and protein formation, and changes in the liver, kidney, spleen and gastrointestinal system.”
In all fairness this may be a biased study…WHAT? A former Monsanto employee feels GM food is unsafe????
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
So this study is saying that GM crops, like the ones Monsanto manufactures, are unhealthy to consume and cause health problems. I need to calm down….
Well thank god we have non GM foods to consume….ummm, apparently not.
“As of 2001, 75 percent of all food crops grown in the United States were genetically modified, including 80 percent of soybeans, 68 percent of cotton, and 26 percent of corn crops.”
Just to make it worse: Here are the Top 10 Dangers of GM Foods
Well shit.
All I can say now is that we need to be more informed. We just need to know that when we stop to smell the roses, it may be a genetically “enhanced” blue rose.
EVERY FAN OF GEORGE BUSH NEEDS TO READ THIS, BUT WON’T.
I am completely floored by this. If you think I am completely off base for posting this…follow the links included and cut off your biases and weigh the evidence for yourself.
CLICK HERE FOR ORIGINAL POSTING ON KOTORI MAGIZINE
YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATED thanks to Dan Benbow.
IS THIS SUPRIZING TO ANYONE AT THIS POINT?
Fox “news” is editing video to make something look different than it really is and calling it a “production error?” Just admit you are not “Fair and Balanced” and no one will care what you do anymore. Please.
Fox News again accused of airing misleading video
For the second time in just over a week, Fox News is coming under fire for misusing old news footage. The latest flap is leading some people to charge that the cable news network is intentionally misleading its audience, while Fox claims a “production error.”
Wednesday’s incident occurred when Fox News host Gregg Jarrett mentioned that a Sarah Palin appearance and book signing in Grand Rapids, Michigan had a massive turnout. As footage rolled of a smiling and waving Palin amidst a throng of fans, Jarrett noted that the former Republican vice-presidential candidate is “continuing to draw huge crowds while she’s promoting her brand-new book,” adding that the images being shown were “some of the pictures just coming in to us…. The lines earlier had formed this morning.”
However, the video used in the segment was from a 2008 McCain/Palin campaign rally. In response to the minor uproar that arose after clips of Jarrett’s report hit the Internet, Fox senior vice-president of news Michael Clemente issued an initial statement saying, “This was a production error in which the copy editor changed a script and didn’t alert the control room to update the video.”
On Thursday afternoon, Fox News issued an on-air apology delivered by host Jane Skinner:
Yesterday we told you about Sarah Palin kicking off her book tour and then we spoke to Sean Hannity about an interview that he did with former Governor Palin. When introducing the segment we showed you footage of people lining up in Michigan for a book signing that evening. In the tease before the segment, the tease to commercial, we told you how those people were already lining up to meet Palin. The problem is we didn’t show you the video we were actually referencing. Instead we mistakenly aired what’s called “file tape” of Sarah Palin. We didn’t mean to mislead anybody in that tease. It was a mistake, and for that we apologize.
The current mishap comes on the heels of a controversy sparked last week when footage from a conservative rally held over the summer was played on “Hannity” during a segment on a more recent rally. During the clip, host Sean Hannity marveled over the large turnout for a Washington, DC protest. The Daily Show later pointed out that there seemed to be some inconsistencies with the video shown on Hannity’s show, namely that the atmospheric conditions seemed to vary from shot to shot. Hannity later apologized on the air for what he called “an inadvertent mistake.”
Barely a week into Palin’s blitz to promote “Going Rogue,” media coverage is becoming its own story. Fox News rival MSNBC caught heat last week for using altered images of Sarah Palin on the air, for which they later apologized. On Wednesday, Yahoo! News reported Newsweek’s defense of their latest controversial cover, which Palin herself blasted as “sexist.”
— Brett Michael Dykes is a contributor to the Yahoo! News Blog
Democrats have Robocalls?
Huh, You learn something new every day.
Here is a CNN article by Emily Sherman concerning the public option health care plan. I thought I should post it so all of you nice people could read it and send Sen. Reid some good thoughts. Good Luck Harry!
Robocalls defend Reid on public option
From CNN Associate Political Producer Emily ShermanWASHINGTON (CNN)– The day before Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid opens the debate on health care reform, a group of liberal activists who once attacked the Nevada Democrat announced they will begin making robocalls encouraging Reid to stand strong in the fight for health care reform and the public option.
In the calls, longtime Nevada nurse Lee Slaugher – the star of an attack ad released late last month which questioned Reid’s political strength, tells residents in her state to stand behind their Senator.
“I’m very thankful that Senator Harry Reid has included a public health insurance option in his health care bill. He shocked the political world by being so bold on this issue.” Slaughter says in the calls released by The Progressive Change Campaign Committee, a liberal political action committee with the express goal of electing progressive candidates to federal office.
“If you want to join me in thanking Senator Reid, and letting him know that we’ll stand with him as long as he keeps fighting for a public option, please press one on your keypad,” Slaughter concludes.
The group says the calls are expected to reach 10,000 Nevada voters beginning Saturday, as Democrats and Republicans take to the Senate floor to vote on beginning debate on health care legislation introduced by Democrats.
The 2,074-page Senate bill seeks to reduce long-term costs of health care for the government, businesses and individuals while reforming how services are delivered to increase efficiency and effectiveness. It includes controversial provisions such as a government-run public health insurance option.
Republicans have vowed to try to block the bill, requiring Reid to round up 60 votes in the 100-member Senate to overcome a GOP filibuster and launch debate.
And the award goes to…
My wife and I had talked about getting some form of tattoo as a sign of devotion to our marriage for weeks leading up to our 1st anniversary, as if mutual debt, marital property, matching towels, and a Yorkie weren’t enough? As part of the Surprise Memphis Night Out, my wife had made me an appointment with Vanessa Waites to discuss my matrimonial tattoo. (So much for being able to plan ahead.) Upon entering Underground Tattoo, the scent of incense filled my nose. The Rev. Maynard Keenan was singing from another room. I felt comfortable immediately. The casual atmosphere and … eclectic decor was ok with me. *NOTE: I have never felt more comfortable around multiple speculum.* I met Vanessa and we discussed the ins and outs of my tattoo ideas. It became clear to me during that initial discussion that her attitude and humor were well suited for the person I was going to choose to adorn my body with the name of my beloved wife. Her comments about marriage and how she “marked” her husband were pretty funny and appropriate. It was a good time. We said our “thanks yous” and left after making a date for the application of the ink.
When Sabrina and I arrived for the tat. My research on Mrs. Waites was complete. I had looked at her painting and tattoo gallery. (LINKS ARE BELOW) I was impressed by her artistic ability and not at all wary of her tattooing my wife’s name into (or onto…I don’t know which is more appropriate in the tattoo world) my back.
As she began tattooing me, I was constantly reminded to keep my head down and “slunch” over. As my wife took pics, we talked about education, art, tattoo apprenticeship, food and Carl Sagan. I couldn’t have drawn up a better discussion list to be involved in as ink was jammed into my dermal layer of skin.
This was the best experience in tattooing that I have ever been apart of. I have other tattoos before Vanessa. No one has yet to tattoo me twice. Vanessa will be the first. ( Assuming she agrees to…)
OFFICIALLY RECOMMENDED
Vanessa Waites
Vanessa is an artist at Underground Art in Memphis, TN.
A gallery of her tattoo work is here.
A summary of her bio is here.
*BE SURE TO ASK HER HOW SHE “MARKED” HER HUSBAND*
sometimes right - sometimes not - always correct 
