Yesterday, I had a track back from Gigabiting.com and decided to check it out.  A post on the hatred chefs feel toward some customers had a link to my post on sushi chefs hating some customers on the bottom of it.  I really enjoyed the article that my post was linked to.  So, I read more.  As I was reading post after post, I realized that I was really enjoying the work.  Sometimes you happen upon a style of writing that feels comfortable and has your style of humor.  Gigibiting was that for me yesterday.  Over the dozens of posts I read in that one day, One post has stuck out above all the others.

This post touches on something that my wife and I laugh about often:  particularly while watching Iron Chef America, The Next Iron Chef, Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, etc.  – The new lingo that has been adopted by the food pundits (Mr. Steingarten in particular)  in an attempt to separate the viewer and judges.  Let’s face facts.  A  judges’ sole job on a food contest show is to tell the chef,cook, or home maker one thing:

Good or Not Good

Telling the preparer WHY is completely showing off.  (Most common:  “I need some more acid on the dish.”) I do not see the point in purposely making a distinction between the common viewer’s reality (who really can not relate to Donatella Arpaia’s critique of civiche) and the air put on by the “judges” on these shows.  The language they use is the only method they have to separate themselves from “somebody who is eating Michael Symon’s custard.”  This is only made more apparent when a celebrity, (a non-food world celebrity who happens to own 12 restaurants) like Keyshawn Johnson is put in as a “judge” on Iron Chef America.  He commented on an avocado mousse with the eloquence of a common food eater by saying  “It looks mushy.”  I get it.  I understand that.  I am sure that Alan Richman threw up a little in his mouth when Keyshawn said that.  It is a ridiculous practice that goes to ridiculous lengths- but i watch it none the less.

Here is the post from Gigabiting.com that got me thinking about this.

The Epicure’s Farm-to-Table Artisanally-Crafted Post of Over Used Food Terms

They are trendy or inane, over-worked or over-wrought, misused and abused. These are the words that grate on our nerves.

Artisan

Wheat Thins artisan crackers? (Can’t you just picture them painstakingly rolled out and hand-cut by the master bakers of Kraft Foods Global, Inc.?) How about artisan flatbreads from DiGiorno’s Frozen Pizza? Like you’re back in the piazza in Naples. And pre-washed and bagged artisan salads? We’re not sure how lettuce can be artisanal, but leave it to Fresh Express, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Chiquita Brands, L.L.C., to figure it out.

Mixologist

It’s true that a well-mixed drink is the result of a kind of happy alchemy. But bartending as a scientific discipline? We don’t tip the guy that runs the particle accelerator at the FermiLab, and we aren’t looking for the next Appletini that will cure cancer.

Veggies

Just say the whole word. It’s not all that onerous. Ditto for sammies (sandwiches), resto (restaurant), breakie (breakfast), chix (chicken), and apps (appetizers).

Nom nom for foodies

Let’s add to the list any word that sounds like it was coined in a nursery school (crispy, yummy, comfy, et al.).

Restaurant reviewer jargon

Toothsome; mouth-feel; authentic; playful; sauces that are napped; and dishes that are tucked into— does anybody speak like this? Can we make them stop writing like this?