Does it seem to you that a lot people are speaking for God lately?  Has there been some massive PR movement from Heaven to select vessels to distribute God’s message?   Apparently, everyone around me has Jesus’ cell number and they text/talk a lot about what is going to happen or why something happened the way it did.  There are Christian people telling me, and all of their “Friends” that the Apocalypse is at hand.  No, I am not kidding…

The people in the above Facebook exchange are talking about 2 types of things:  Those that have already happened (Haiti, Japan, and Chile) and Things that are about to happen (Tsunami hitting Hawaii.)  Talking about the past, even the resent past (Haiti, Chile, and Japan) does not make you prophet worthy.  However, When you start saying that an “Act of God,” like a tsunami, will hit a specific location, you are claiming that you know God’s will and are stating it to the world.   That my friends is claiming some sort of Divine inspiration or God sent fore knowledge of an event.  That is the definition of a prophet and those, if my memory serves right, were few and far between.

NEWS FLASH:

THE TSUNAMI DID NOT HIT HAWAII!

Oh crap, what now?  The prophet that was speaking for God was…wrong?  Did the cell service drop mid call?  What the hell am I supposed to do now…I dont know who or what to believe!

So, I looked in the Bible and what did I find?

When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

-Deu 18:22

So we should just ignore the false prophet.  Easy enough, but does God take kindly to people saying they speak for him/her (*assuming God has a gender.)  APPARENTLY NOT!

Therefore thus saith the LORD concerning the prophets that prophesy in my name, and I sent them not, yet they say, Sword and famine shall not be in this land; By sword and famine shall those prophets be consumed.

-Jer 14:15

YIKES!  According to the Bible, False prophets will get “consumed” by sword and famine.  Here is some free advise potential prophets:

YOU BETTER BE SURE THAT GOD TOLD TO SAY WHAT YOU CLAIM.

Because it looks like its gonna suck for you if God didn’t send you that message after all and you just went crazy with conjecture.

So, the Facebook prophets were wrong.  Is it possible that these weren’t the “Signs of the Times” after all.  Maybe you don’t know shit about God’s plan.  Maybe you should not attempt scare people into believing that you and others like you know what is going on with:

1) the world

2) Biblical prophecy in general

3) Apocalyptic Signs

Don’t worry false prophets you come from a long history of people who thought they knew what was up.  Here are some famous names you may or may not know.  This list of false prophets comes from your friends at :  http://defendchrist.com

Benny Hinn is about the most sought after false prophet and teacher today. Benny Hinn falsely predicted that all the homosexuals in America would die by fire in the late 1990’s. Benny Hinn has confessed that there are 9 beings within the Godhead. 3 beings (Tritheism) each having their own trinity of beings within each. Benny Hinn teaches word-faith doctrine. Benny Hinn stated on TBN that after his crusade in South America in 2002, that he was certain that he would return to America with video footage of Jesus appearing on stage during the crusades, because Jesus had told him this was going to happen. Hinn also stated that very soon people would no longer need to take their deceased loved ones to the morgue. Instead, stated Hinn, they should be placed in front of the television during the airing of TBN and they would rise from the dead. We don’t have enough paper to list all of the falseness of Hinns ministry.

T.D. Jakes denies the Trinity. That makes his church a cult. Jakes has many other false teachings including word-faith, and the prosperity gospel.

Robert Schuller, is a positive thinking guru who denies essential Christian doctrine.

Marilyn Hickey is a word-faith teacher teaching false doctrine. One of her tapes recods her having a conversation with her billfold, commanding the billfold to fill itself with greenbacks.

Paul Crouch is responsible for an unending open door welcoming false teachers and prophets to his pulpit no matter how outlandish their their aberant teachings may be. Croch has publicly stated that anyone who tests the teaching of any ministers on his programs will go straight to hell. Crouch has openly stated his desire to kill Christian apologists who point out heresy preached on his stations.

Rod Parsley is a word-faith preacher who specializes in whipping up his audiences into altered states of consciousness. His outlandish style is attractive to people who get emotionally carried away by repetitive music and mantras.

R.W. Shambach is an incredible con-artist used by CBN to raise money during their telethons. With scare tactics and false teaching, Shambach surgically convinces thousands to send their money to finance the heretical TBN .

Carlton Pearson has even been attacked by false teachers like T.D. Jakes for his support of the “doctrine of exclusion.” This doctrine tries to reconcile Christianity and Islam, claiming the 2 religions are completely compatible.

John Avanzinni is a name-it-and-claim-it mega-star used by TBN whenever they want to promote the hundredfold blessing. Avanzinni also promotes the heresy that God’s reason for creating humanity is to duplicate himself.

Kenneth & Gloria Copeland have one of the largest false ministries and influences in America. Copeland teaches that Adam was an exact duplicate of God. Copeland teaches that Jesus became a demonic being when he was crucified and had to go to hell and be born again. The Copelands attempt to specialize in word-faith teaching. Copeland calls God, the biggest loser in the Bible, and says Jesus was not God during his earthly life.

John Hagee calls Covenant Theologians heretics, because they do not make a distinction between the church and Israel in the New Testament. Branding them as the “carriers of Hitler’s annointing”, Hagee divides the body of Christ on secondary issues. Hagee is also extremely dogmatic in his eschatology, failing to understand that there are many diverse interpretations acceptable within the pale of orthodoxy.

Jessie Duplantis‘ ministry is riddled with errors. Presenting his messages with humor, Duplantis is a typical word-faith clone of Ken Copeland, often preaching from Copeland’s pulpit.

Oral Roberts and son, Richard Roberts are both word-faith con-artists. Oral is the originator of the seed-faith doctrine. Have a need? Plant a seed. Large amounts of cash make the best seed for planting. Both men practice cultic doctrines of bringing their cohorts into altered states of consciousness

What does the Bible say about these righteous dudes?

Then the LORD said unto me, The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart.

-Jer 14:14

It seems pretty clear to me.  Maybe those who wave the Bible around, claim that they know the source of its teachings, and spout prophesy in Jesus’ name should, I don’t know…read the Bible first?

Just a thought…